Randomness Overload

Sometimes the randomness of my mind is an impediment not only to writing, but to focusing on any one thing.  It impedes life, in essence.  Normally, I try to keep this crap to myself, despite the title of this blog, but that means when my mind is tail spinning I write nothing (here or otherwise).  Trying to do anything devolves into browsing Netflix streaming for anything that will capture my interests.  Considering the state of randomness my mind is in, it invariably ends in frustration.  My thoughts leap from one moment of randomness to another with the thinnest of threads.  And then back again.

These are the things which have been plaguing my life in a sort of cyclical, braying mind-scream:

–[after listening to about 36 hours of the audio book for Margaret George’s The Autobiography of Henry VIII]  Why the hell was everyone dying?  The infant mortality rate was disturbing.  Somebody give these bitches some prenatal vitamins, penicillin, and hydrogen peroxide!

No, he didn't play Henry VIII, but any opportunity to include a picture of Henry Cavill is fine by me

No, he didn’t play Henry VIII, but any opportunity to include a picture of Henry Cavill is fine by me

–In the series The Tudors, what the hell possessed them to cast Joss Stone as Anne of Cleves?  This is a woman Henry VIII reportedly said looked like an old horse.

Anne of Cleves in the Tudors.  I fail to see the resemblance.

I fail to see the resemblance.

–Does anyone else wonder what it would be like to go back in time and be in Henry’s court, knowing what was coming?  What would people in that time have thought of a randomly produced iPhone, taken on such a time traveling episode?  “Uh, could everyone be quiet?  I’m trying to watch an episode of The Tudors!”  And how long would my subsequent trial and execution for witchery take?  One doesn’t like to be kept waiting.

–Speaking of executions, what the hell turned Mary Tudor (Henry’s daughter, not his sister) from a learned, delicate, talented, intelligent child into a Protestant-killing, Lady-Jane-Grey-murdering, fake-pregnancy-having monster who would best be known by the charming moniker of Bloody Mary? What wouldn’t sound trite in light of what she did?  “Boo hoo, my father was a jerk!  I’m gonna kill 300 innocent people for not subscribing to my religious beliefs!”  Of course, after what was done to her mother, Catherine of Aragon, who could blame her for being a teensy bit bitter?

So what if she looked like Joe Pesci in drag?

It surely didn’t help that she looked like Joe Pesci in drag

–Since the names are so close, what of Jean Grey?  The upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past movie is set to allow the wonderful but abandoning Bryan Singer to fix the issues he caused by allowing that travesty of a movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, to be made.  The time traveling element will allow the stupidity of that movie to be rectified and, I assume, the dead to come back to life.  Storm, Rogue, Wolverine, Kitty Pryde, Colossus (yum!) are all set to come back.  What of Cyclops (douche!), but more importantly the totally fucked-up Jean Grey/Phoenix?  We, as a viewing public, are owed a proper Phoenix saga, not the steaming pile of intestinal leavings that was the body-dissolving Dark Phoenix.

The foulness we got, and what we are owed.  Get on it, Mr. Singer.

The foulness we got, and what we are owed. Get on it, Mr. Singer.

–I love Halle Berry, but she wasn’t able to do a lot of the wire work that it would take to really do Storm properly (until, ironically, that crappy third movie). Plus, she’s pregnant.  What the hell kind of Storm are we going to be delivered?

Make it happen, Halle.

Make it happen, Halle.

–Will Rogue finally get something like Ms. Marvel’s powers so that she can be what we geeks have come to know her as?  You have Anna Paquin, damn it.  Use her!  And can we get Taylor Kitsch back as Gambit?  *Cartman voice* I’m seriously right now.

*Ahem* Look at that talent! Gambit, come hither!

*Ahem* Look at that talent! Gambit, come hither!

–Speaking of Anna Paquin (as she was in Trick r Treat), Halloween is so far away, and summer is an obstacle to be hurdled.  I hate the summer heat.  The sun ages us.

–As for aging, my goddamned birthday is in a little over a week.  Can I continue to get older but have my skin and body refuse to begin deteriorating?

130000_happy_fucking_birthday_old_ass_bitch

–Speaking of…the water of life!  Audible finally has the Hugo award winning novel The Snow Queen available for download.  I had an ill-gotten audiobook with a different reader for this fantastic novel and the narration gave me mild gas pains.  I listened to about 5 minutes of the newer version (immediately snatched up with my Audible subscription) and knew that my fears of someone messing up this beloved book were unsubstantiated.  The narrator got Arienrhod’s voice.  She plucked it from my head.  I was immediately in that darkened room with the Snow Queen and the offworlder doctor, implanting clones of Arienrhod, Winter’s Queen,  into the passed out reveling Summer natives.

–Though I will rectify this soon, I have never seen an episode of Game of Thrones.  However, I have seen pictures.  For anyone who has seen it and read The Snow Queen or The Summer Queen, wouldn’t Emilia Clarke be the perfect Arienrhod Winter/Moon Dawntreader Summer?  My cousin first brought this fact to my mind and I totally concur.

emilia_clarke_as snow-summer queen

–If something like the water of life described in The Snow Queen books was available here on Earth, could I drink the blood of a creature every day for eternal youth?  I eat meat.  What’s the difference?  Yet somehow, the drinking of one creature’s life to sustain my vanity is barbaric and reprehensible.  Yet as we get older, I assume most people could make that sacrifice.  I wish I could say that I couldn’t, but…and how it all turns out in the novel…could I, even knowing what I know now?

–When the hell is The Summer Queen going to come out on audio book?  I’ll probably listen to The Snow Queen, then see if I can read World’s End (which makes me violently angry), and read then the tome that is The Summer Queen this summer.  What better time?  I also want to read or listen to Elantris by Brandon Sanderson.  So. Many. Books.

–What the hell book won the Hugo award when The Summer Queen was nominated?  Okay, I have the book in question, but my stubborn devotion to Joan D. Vinge doesn’t allow me to read it on the slight chance that I would like it more than The Summer Queen.

–Speaking of youth and beauty, did all the women in Hollywood…nay, the WORLD…die?  If not, how the hell did Gwenyth Paltrow, just voted as the most hated celebrity, also win the dubious honor of being People’s most beautiful woman?  Oscar-stealing trollop.  (Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth was robbed!)  Granted, I don’t think even Gwenyth Paltrow could possibly be the most hated celebrity when Taylor Swift still draws breath, but the principle remains.  I need to go watch Contagion.  Fred Gwynne was hotter as Herman Munster!

If only.

If only.

Elizabeth was a wonderful movie.

–And I’m right back to Tudor England.

I have skipped about eleventeen other things bouncing around in my head, but this is a preview of what’s going on in there…just this week.  I have eliminated my renewed obsession with foxes, aquariums, BBC documentaries, Grimm’s fairy tales, the show Solved, and Disgaea 4.

I sometimes wonder if I have ADD, or a convoluted mind, or…oh, look at the puppy!  *wandering off*

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~ by Darren Endymion on April 24, 2013.

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