Stupid Decisions

So, after the madness of Thanksgiving, I have a big decision to make.

I have found out that my rent will be going up $30 for the next year, which is considerably less that what I expected. It is just within the realm of possibility on an already stretched budget. Staying here would mean saving less than the small amount I already was, would mean being locked into a lease for another year (therefore necessitating my presence at my current job during the worst of all life-killing seasons), and paying a whole lot of money.

However, it would also mean freedom, lots of alone time, the ability to spread out, not having to deal with other people’s messes, having anyone I want over, etc.

On the flip side, I do have a friend who is renting a room from a well-established older man who happens to have another room for rent. The rent would be less than half what I pay now, I wouldn’t be locked into a lease, I could save tons of money, I would be able to move in a year like I had planned (and with lots of money), I could therefore miss another season of Hell at my current job (one which I am currently toughening up to brave), and I would be able to breathe again.

The bad side? The friend I mentioned is my ex. He’s the one who suggested that I move in there. Essentially, I would be living with my ex and his friend. My ex and I are friends, good friends, in fact, and we are talking about getting back together if certain requirements are met, but it could potentially be really uncomfortable. Neither of us would feel free to date or *ahem* anything else, and there’s the potential for ugliness. I wouldn’t have the freedom I do now, I would be living in someone else’s house, I would be pretty much holed up in my room (which is what I did with my previous roommate, the one who boiled forth from Satan’s bowels), and I would come to be frustrated and possibly resentful.

The older man is a smoker, but wouldn’t be in my room. I have been there on many occasions and have never smelled it, and I have a very strong sense of smell. I have no doubt I would eventually, but it hasn’t been bad so far. He is also a conservative Republican gay man (no, I don’t understand it, either), and is very fond of talking out his points. I am tactful in saying that I don’t agree with someone and leaving a discussion that will never go anywhere, but…

Still, with my ultimate goal in mind, this situation can’t be beat. There is nothing that would allow me to save the amount I would in this situation. I adore my ex, we have tons in common, and we can hang out for hours and hours and not get on each other’s nerves. Also, everything in this area is ridiculously expensive.

*sigh* There is going to be good and bad at any place I go to, and I understand that. But why does it have to have such dramatic high and low points?

So, this is the stupid decision I need to make.

This week.


~ by Darren Endymion on December 2, 2013.

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