Q = Quahog (A-Z Challenge)

The quahog is a large clam of the Atlantic coast. They are edible with the proper preparation and… *snore*

Quahog. Clams. Yaye.

Quahog. Clams. Yaye.

They are also the premium currency in Family Guy: the Quest for Stuff. More importantly, they provide the name for the town in Rhode Island where Family Guy takes place: Quahog!


Quahog is a cesspit of drunks, rampant stupidity, aged perverts, young perverts, colorful shenanigans, and from which much hilarity ensues. For example:

Meg: [about Peter being retarded] I can never go to school again!

Stewie: Oh, yes, Meg…everything was going swimmingly until this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation; not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses. No, no, no, it’s THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.

The trifecta of cartoon hilarity for me is the Simpsons, South Park, and Family Guy. They range from sarcastic, generally wholesome prime time fun to the gross out, horribly inappropriate humor. Stewie is the best, I admit, but they all have their moments. As a huge fan of the Gilbert and Sullivan comedic opera, The Mikado, one of my favorite clips from Family Guy is Stewie’s rendition of I’ve Got a Little List. All the Brian and Stewie episodes, and almost any interaction between Lois and Stewie:

Lois: Huh, what’s this? You know, Stewie, Mommy doesn’t usually read things out of Chris’ poket. She’s more respectful than that.

Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.

Peter is like the king of Quahog. He’s upsettingly stupid, bordering (on either side) of retarded, crude, and totally hilarious. There is the trend of making the father figures, the older straight males of comedies ridiculously stupid, but Peter is the worst, I think. For example:

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, “Ooooooo.”

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Quahog was founded by the ancestor/reincarnation of Peter Griffin when he was exiled to America and won a talent contest for control over the city. It is currently run by mayor Adam West, who is responsible for some of the strangest, most random quotes ever said on television.

Trisha Takinawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?

Mayor Adam West: Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup… no I take that one back. I’m gonna hold onto that one.

According to South Park, Quahog seems to be full of manatees as well as clams… (*giggle, 10 points if you caught that one.) It is also home to a wide array of deviants and perverts, one of which is another Q word…Quagmire. The word “quagmire” actually means an area of muddy ground or a difficult position or situation. As a proper noun, it’s a pilot whose mind and actions run to the, uh, colorfully explicit.

Now knowing the proper definition of "quagmire" this and everything else you ever see with this character will be even more repulsive and meaningful. Consider it my gift to you.

Now knowing the proper definition of “quagmire” this and everything else you ever see with this character will be even more repulsive and meaningful. Consider it my gift to you.

As perverts go, there is none to match Herbert. “Are you a Giving Tree or a Receiving Tree?” or “Anyone want to see my Purple Heart?” He’s hilarious and terrifying, wrong, repulsive, and ghastly. But he has popsicles.

Herbert popsicles

It has its local legends, two of which are main stars of the show.

*cackle, kick* Her FACE!!!

*cackle, kick* Her FACE!!!

I spent a great deal of time on yesterday’s entry, which I figured nobody would read. (I loved writing it, though, and I’m allowed that from time to time…like with my King Henry VIII entry. As a side note, yesterday, May 19th, was the anniversary of the unjustly accused, convicted, and executed Queen Anne Boleyn. I was going to do an entry on that, but decided not to. Consider it another gift.) However, since I accept that this entry seems rather picture- and quote-heavy, and rather like I phoned it in, I might as well shove it all the way up and leave you with one last picture/quote that is guaranteed to piss you off and get stuck in your head.

You are welcome.

You are welcome.

Alternate letter considerations: Quetzal, Queens (of the evil variety), Quaker, Quicksand, Quarantine.


~ by Darren Endymion on May 20, 2014.

2 Responses to “Q = Quahog (A-Z Challenge)”

  1. Visiting from A to Z Challenge road trip

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