Self Advice, or Channeling My Inner Yoda

As with everyone else on the Planet, I think I give very good advice and get irritated when people don’t take it. It’s always easier to give than to receive in this case, and I usually run on the harsh side. But, if my advice is taken, one could remove oneself from the offending situation or just fix it. But what happens when it comes time to give myself advice?

Well, I find any number of reasons why it wouldn’t work or (usually) why the standard advice doesn’t apply…but it does. Yet, I still find that I baby myself when I shouldn’t. A long time ago I read in a tarot card book that the most difficult person to read for is yourself, and for these very reasons. This book recommended imagining that you are sitting across from yourself and relate to your issues the way you would any other querant. This works for the simple reason that it makes you take yourself out of the situation and look at it a little more objectively. It works when giving yourself advice, too. I think, “If one of my friends came to me with this issue, what would I tell him?” So, I sat down, imagined I was sitting across from myself , and let the advice flow.

I’m kind of a jerk.

That being said, I’m also right, but I need to work on my delivery even to myself. (No wonder my ex cringes every time I say, “I think you should…”) I don’t know why, but in an attempt to soften the harshness and because of the first response, the advice began to take on the syntax and resonance of Yoda.

I present you with the results:


On having trouble beginning the writing process, and trying to get myself to start: Do or do not; there is no try.

(Obvious, right? I had to. My Inner Yoda got spicier as I continued to question him.)

On a neglectful friend: With no water, wither a flower will. Talk to him, you should. With communication, our differences are distant. If no compromise, there can be no friendship.

On dealing with an extremely difficult coworker: Strong with the Dark Side this heifer is. Defeat her you must, or lost sanity will be. Use management if too messy confrontation is. Silence a weapon can be. Never let go of your light saber, for it is a weapon of defense and she is easily fried.

On potentially moving out of state, changing jobs, and finding a new place to live, while bemoaning all the work involved: With no action, stagnant you will remain. From sacrifice the phoenix is reborn.

(No, Yoda probably wouldn’t talk about a phoenix unless it was Jean Grey. Who cares? Stick with me.)

On nearly crippling leg pains which recently and randomly started: In the third world, you are not. Concerned you are? A doctor you should visit and your suffering will end. Remember, suffering leads to the Dark Side.

Finally, on my constant procrastination with writing, both out of laziness and a fear of not living up to the story’s potential: Stop whining or bitch slap you I will. Hmmm? With no beginnings there is no learning. Through learning we grow, and infinite our potential is.

He seemed ornery, so I let things drop after that. Unfortunately, the little green bastard was right.


~ by Darren Endymion on August 11, 2014.

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