Flee This Life, Flee This Place

Once again, that title sounds a bit dramatic, but it’s a lyric from “Movie in My Mind” from Miss Saigon. It could refer to a lot of things, but today it refers to a vacation. It’s not one I would have taken on my own and certainly not to this particular location, but a very dear friend is turning a very difficult age, and he wants to get away from it all. Regrettably, he’s not going to be able to outrun his date of origin, so this is the next best thing.

He’s dragging three of us to a climate known for scorching heat and, well, more heat. I think the whole city gets four or five drops of rain all year. I loathe the heat with every cell in my body—it depresses me, it makes me feel sticky and gross, and I become bitter, horrified, and generally unpleasant. One of us also feels this way and refuses to walk more than half a parking lot, even in optimal weather conditions—and she will complain about the heat even then. Another sweats when getting out of the car. Therefore, we somehow thought it logical to allow the fourth person (NOT the birthday boy), who plans to get drunk beyond all reason and likes the heat, to plan everything.

To his credit, a lodging place was chosen to try and appease us all. Large adjoining rooms, socially irresponsible amounts of air conditioning, and a pool literally right next to our room. Said pool is open 24 hours a day and allows drinking. Always a good combination. Remember that crack I made about four drops of rain a year? Well, they are scheduled to arrive while we are there. And apparently, they have multiplied.

We will be gone for three days. Upon our arrival we will be greeted with a 50% chance of thunderstorms and 97 degree heat. Our second day it will go down to 93 degrees and…you know the Yahoo weather app? Well, it has something like five raindrops and an angry cloud which I believe means I should pack a canoe. If that is scaled down for the region, that means getting a sprinkle they will call Storm Watch 2014 (it IS in California, after all) with hysterical overtones and alarms and screaming babies.

But, if that’s a standard amount of rain, like that icon means “downpour” no matter if you’re in the desert of rainforest, then I may need water wings and a prayer. Very dry ground and a downpour do not make good bedfellows. That’s why every time it rains in So Cal you hear about houses sliding into the valleys and people not knowing how to drive in the rain and people acting like it’s the Second Flood of Noah. I checked elsewhere and it’s supposed to rain a little for something like 4 hours. I think we will manage…in our room, with the A/C on, while casting wary eyes at the distant hills.

In any case, we are leaving tomorrow morning, and I have been informed that I am not to bring my laptop or my PS Vita. They can bite my bag if they think I’m leaving my Kindle at home, too. In any case, I won’t be around on Monday to post, so I’m doing it on Saturday.

Still, despite all this, I’m really excited to go. I’ll loathe the weather, but it will be fun to be with friends and eat and drink with them and maybe even use them as flotation devices. Who knows what the future holds?

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~ by Darren Endymion on September 6, 2014.

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