10 Days of Halloween – The Evil Dead

3 – The Evil Dead

I love the original Evil Dead, so when I heard there was going to be a remake (no, I don’t mean The Evil Dead 2), I was a little skeptical. It wasn’t as bad as when I heard that Halloween was being remade, where I was flinging poo and bile (but eventually liked it), but I wasn’t sure why it should happen at all.

The original Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2 are campy, gory, gross, comedic (well, #2 was), and great fun. Bless Bruce Campbell. The man is not afraid of getting dirty. Remember how I mentioned that messed up voices freak me out? Yeah, that was the case with the first one. When I first saw it, it freaked my little ass out!

Good times.

Good times.

I fully intended to see the remake of The Evil Dead on DVD because, as I experienced with Halloween, some remakes can be good. Instead, a friend of mine was going through a bad depression, as it was approaching the anniversary of her husband’s death. She hates scary movies because they scare the hell out of her very, very easily. So several of us got together and decided to take her to a horror movie to get her mind off it. We decided on The Evil Dead remake…and we scored. Most importantly, my friend wasn’t sad and didn’t think about her husband even once. She was too busy being horrified…because we held her hands and wouldn’t let her cover her eyes.

She looked a bit like this, actually.

She looked a bit like this, actually.

The movie was a bit more bloody and violent than I expected, though I don’t know what I was expecting. I have to say that I hate torture porn. I liked the premise of Hostel, but the first 45 minutes was like soft core porn. Tits everywhere and not one single shot of Jay Hernandez’s ass. What the hell, man?! The rest was just torture and a gross out. It’s cheap and I don’t like it.

Evil Dead is horrifying, torturous, and terrible things happen. The first one was the same. In this one, a drug addict is trying to ditch the habit by going to a remote cabin and going cold turkey. They find a book made out of flesh encased in garbage bags and barbed wire. Somehow, the cute blond scholar guy decides this is the kind of book he wants to open and read aloud in the cabin. A little nighttime read. Dumb ass. The evil dead possesses the former drug addict and it just gets awesome. Horror, torture, tongue-splitting, nail guns, meat saws, vomit, and a rather tepid shower. You think it’s going to mirror the original with a different cast…but it doesn’t. It’s new enough for a viewing.

Tongue piercing: the home version.

Tongue piercing: the home version.

The remake was amazing. I didn’t expect to like it much, but it was quite amazing. My friend eventually calmed down and returned to her grief, but remembering the movie would snap her out of it. The real lesson, other than that everyone should see the Evil Dead remake, is that horror heals and alleviates heartbreak. Therefore, Evil Dead can be considered therapy.

Pass it along to your ailing friends. They will thank you from the asylum.

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~ by Darren Endymion on October 25, 2014.

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