Finally Writing, but is it Worth It?

Yes, I’m finally writing and not just talking about it. I don’t know if it was the trauma of this past week, the huge amounts of overtime I’m doing at work and the subsequent need to carve out some time for me, or if I just finally got into it. Regardless. over the past day, I wrote about 10 pages.

I don’t know if the other writers feel this way, but when I put in a shit-ton of work like that — especially after a long period of not writing —  not only do I feel like I’m coming home, but I’m not sure about the product itself.

It’s the same way with binge watching shows or devouring a novel. I feel like the finer details slip through the cracks. This allows me to enjoy reading or watching a second time, but it makes me wonder what the hell I was doing the first time around and makes me fear that my brain isn’t functioning properly.

With writing it makes me wonder if what I’m doing is worth it at all, or if I’m essentially pooping into a Word document and trying to pass it off as an achievement. I mean, I liked it, but it was my fantasy, my little slice of fun, so that was no real surprise. I still can’t tell if it’s any good, but I suppose I will get to that in the rewrites where I can see more objectively, where the act of creation isn’t so momentous that the achievement overshadows the quality.

It’s about Greek mythology and what the gods and goddesses would do if they presided over our time, focusing on one mortal’s love life and what that will mean for those around him. Since the gods can never agree on anything, it escalates as the human tries to wend his way through life, totally unaware of the strife going on in his wake. The first half is decidedly without climactic action, as it takes time to build up. However, a certain action takes place about midway through which sets the tone for the remaining interactions.

I decided to share an unfiltered, unedited, raw segment of when the action starts to escalate. Again, don’t judge me. I haven’t even proofread it once:

***

All the gods gasped as Eros’ golden arrow was rendered in two.

Ares’ great sword glowed red with the flames of war and chaos. Eros’ arrow burned with these flames and fell into the Pool, dissolving into nothing.

Athena whirled, her shield in her hand, and struck Ares in the face with it. There was a great clanging as Ares flew back, striking the marble lip of a nearby planter. He rebounded, landing on his feet, his lip bleeding. He was laughing.

“How dare you?” Athena breathed, her sword in her hand. “It is not our place to interfere…”

“Nice hit, sister,” Ares said. “But I beg to differ with you: it is our place. Is that not why we are here?”

“It is why I am here,” she said, her body pulsing with controlled wrath. The owl Nycti appeared and flapped to her shoulder, ready for battle. “It is why the Fates are here. It is NOT why you are here.”

***

Again, I don’t even know if it’s good, but I like it and the story surrounding it. I guess time will tell if I like the final result and, after all the other writing stuff has been done, if its good enough to get into the upcoming anthology I’m aiming for. And if not, well, I will have something I like and something that helped me get into the mood (and discipline) for writing again.

Here’s hoping…and all that crap.

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~ by Darren Endymion on January 12, 2015.

2 Responses to “Finally Writing, but is it Worth It?”

  1. I always relate to posts like this because it totally encapsulates how I often feel. The despair, the doubt, they’re constant companions, but the goal is finishing the story and I believe we can get there. Theres a market for every book. Keep on keeping on!

    -Chebk

    • Thank you. I think the doubt is like a fat little hitchhiking monkey: does nothing but slow us down and you can’t get rid of it. You just have to hike on regardless until it gets bored and leaves. Haha.

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