Ooooouch, damn it!

Health nuts generally piss me off…but I’m beginning to think that they have something.

This morning I showered, got ready, and came back to my room to wait for my friend and ride to work to get closer so I could hobble downstairs and meet her. I was reading the articles on my IMDB app when I realized that I couldn’t see the faces that well. Every time I tried to focus on a point — whether it be text, face, or icon — it looked like there was a spot of light in front of it. Freaked out, I decided that I was being dramatic and went downstairs a little early, thinking the cold morning air would shut my dramatic mind up.

That’s when I realized that my peripheral vision was the same way. It looked like I had stared at a light bulb or the sun for too long. I am at work before the sun decides to make an appearance, so that certainly wasn’t it.

I decided to do the worst thing ever — Google my symptoms. Why do we as a people still do this? It’s never accurate and it’s never good for anything other than a panic attack.

Speaking of which, I read “detached retinas” and promptly began munching on my own little slice of panic. It was about 50 degrees outside and I was wearing a very thin jacket, but I started to sweat. My vision got worse. I started to feel sick to my stomach. I managed to calm myself down by the time my friend arrived. She told me that I needed to calm down…and then it hit her.

I was about to have a migraine. And I had nothing for it.

She gave me some Excedrin and we started to work. That’s when the pounding started. An hour later, I had a pretty bad headache, but the Excedrin stopped the majority of it. I went home at noon and slept most of it off.

I’ve only ever had one headache like that, and the flickering lights happened just as I went home and started to fall asleep. When I woke up, they were gone, so they didn’t really stick out. Apparently this scary-ass strobe light effect happens frequently just before a migraine hits. Who knew? I joked with my coworker that I thought women were the ones who got these things and told her I wondered if maybe my real problem wasn’t estrogen. We cackled, my head hurt more, and went back to our desks.

Given a moment of consideration, I realized what the problem was: caffeine. I have been trying to cut out aspartame from my diet, which means less sweeteners and more sugar. I didn’t like that, but I gave into it. I started drinking more and more sugary soda. Finally, I decided that I wanted to cut that out, too and stopped drinking it. Cold turkey.

My last caffeine (save for one cup of green tea in the mornings) was two days ago. I was literally suffering withdrawals.

It made me think: if this is what this shit does to my body when I go off of it, what the hell is it doing to me when I’m ingesting it?

So, I could stand to eat and drink better foods and exercise more, even with my ongoing leg/back/sciatica issue. I’m not sure how far into this I’m going to go, but hopefully in a week I won’t be eating kale and quinoa and swearing off salt *gasp!* or something like that. But if I do become one of THOSE people, maybe I won’t be annoying about it.

Because today was bullshit.

~ by Darren Endymion on January 15, 2015.

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