The Old, the New, and the Purge

I am writing from an undisclosed location from deep within the Idiot Protection Program. Shhhh!

So, Mercury retrograde comes to a close on Wednesday morning, and though I usually loathe this period, and though this one was really bad, I can see the bright shining ray of light through it all. Looking back it was a very contemplative time.

First, my writing has surged in odd ways. I finished the project I was working on, sent it to a friend, and got her feedback. I have a few adjustments to make, and then I need to write the synopsis and send it off to the publisher this week. (Wish me luck!)

But, I also revived an old story idea and had a great deal of fun outlining it. I’m still doing the work and getting the other stuff under control. The new ending is just below the surface. I haven’t uncovered it yet, it will come out with the work I’m doing on the worldbuilding and the character exercises.

As for work, things are still crazy, but I have reached a plateau of insanity. It’s so bad and so busy that I really just don’t care anymore. It will get done, or it won’t. I can only do as much as I can do.

As for the old…well, that’s just a sordid and stupid tale. About a year ago I moved in to a house where my friend, who also happened to be my ex, was supposedly renting a room with a very nice man. Come to find out, “renting” was less accurate than “squatting” or “leeching”. Through a boring and fabricated series of events, the ex moved out, leaving some of his stuff behind.

Until today.

I am no longer talking to said ex, and it’s sad. He was a friend, and a guy with whom I could discuss all sorts of geek stuff. He was definitely there for me in some serious times of need, but that person…well, he’s dead. The only thing left is a series of lies wrapped in a half-shaved Wookie-looking shell. (Chewbacca himself would say, “Damn! Cut that hair. Are you trying to look like a homeless drug addict terrorist?”)

Now, he is on “vacation” and has the unmitigated gall to call up my roommate/landlord and ask for another hand out, to see if he can stay there for a few days with a “friend”. He’s dating someone, Han Solo to his Chewbacca, an attractive guy about whom I know nothing other than that hotboxing his small car was and likely remains a priority. He is likely perfect for the creature my friend has become.

Apparently, all thoughts of decency were bypassed. My friend has another place to stay, more than one, yet he decides to invade where I am. Why? More than one person suspects that he is trying to rub my face in Han’s hotboxing glory. I couldn’t care less. But I do have an opinion about it all, and I suspect that my mouth and my opinion would not be appreciated or wanted. I would gain nothing.

He’s a different person, but is still a tactless, entitled, unthinking, hairy, compulsive liar. I wish him happiness, sanity, and a sense of propriety. And I wish him to be far away. Out with the old…

But then we have the new…no, no I haven’t landed Prince Scientist yet. We  have talked several times, we smile, we give side eye, we wave, we pretend not to see the other and then act surprised to see each other (when we were literally less than 10 feet away), we might even flirt in a restrained, polite, not at all overt and totally deniable fashion. It’s like a goddamned Jane Austen novel, and it’s both fun and is making me nauseated.

My friends don’t understand the restraints the situation is under. They say, “Just go talk to him!” or recently I was told, “Just go up to him [when he’s in a group of his scientist colleagues], ask to talk to him alone, take him to the side, and ask him out.” To paraphrase another’s words, one of these friends is shyer than I am and wouldn’t say shit if he had a mouthful, and the other would resort to public rape to get what she wanted and therefore doesn’t understand certain social niceties. I love them, and they mean the best, but this is apparently Pride and Prejudice, not Fifty Shades of Trash.

If nothing else, this whole Mercury retrograde period has taught me that aiming high and going for the new stuff isn’t a practice in hopeless wishes and sad futility, that there are some things which should be purged, and it reinforced that there are just some times when you have to let go — to let things out, and to let others in.

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~ by Darren Endymion on February 9, 2015.

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