Big and Little Good

This weekend and today saw a lot of really amazing things coming my way, and they have to do with everything, taking leaps and bounds toward really improving my mood.

I mentioned recently that I’ve been gathering the good things in my life around me as sort of a shield against the horrors that can happen in life beyond my control…short of pushing half a dozen people down the flight of stairs seen in The Exorcist. “Do you know what he did…?”

Movie quotes aside, on Saturday I set aside some time and really meditated, calmed my mind, and calmly thought about my situation. I removed myself from the situation and did what always works — I thought about my problems as though someone else were coming to me with them. If someone else came to me with what I’m dealing with, what would I tell them? In that calm space, in that detached state of mind, I was able to see things clearer than I have been able to in the past.

As for things I can’t control, this awful, hateful shrew of a coworker has demanded that she be moved away from where she sits now (right behind me) because she doesn’t like the person who sits next to her, a good friend of mine. Also, I don’t think she’s too fond of me since I’ve stopped letting her get away with all her hateful little jabs (harpy wants my job yet has no idea what my team does and how she would support the team). This common bitch act to get away from someone who has never done a thing to her has shown her true colors, and it’s making our bosses look at her in the light the rest of us see her in. Plus, she’s away from me, and that’s all the better.

I’ve been writing and allowing the plot of my new novel to coalesce and take life. There are a lot of players in this one, a lot of different angles, and a lot of agendas. Normally, I would be intimidated, and it’s slower going than I expected, but it’s going and going well.

Also, the editor I adore, the one who taught me stuff and was kind and funny and sweet and tough and personable all at the same time, was a freelance editor my publisher used for this anthology and a few other projects. I found out this weekend that my publisher has snatched her up and made her a senior editor. I e-mailed her to congratulate her and tell her that I was writing again, the second novel in a series. She was complimentary and kind, and told me to e-mail her when I was going to submit so that she can tell the owner of the publishing house that she wants first dibs on editing it.

Can you imagine how warm and fuzzy that made me feel? Awesome.

Finally, I have been in pain for about a year, unable to walk, seeing a number of doctors and finally finding a chiropractor who can fix me. In that time, my wonderful work friend has been giving me a ride to and from work out of the kindness of her heart. However, she is making it passively-aggressively clear that she no longer wants to (it’s like 3-4 minutes each way to get me and I pay gas money, but it’s still a hassle). I have been working out, regaining my strength, and healing. It’s a long, painful process after essentially being immobile and unable to walk much for over a year. In my friend’s eyes, I’m ready to run the Boston Marathon. In reality, it’s an arduous, painful, long process, and I’m not ready to walk 3+ miles to and from work just yet. After about two to three blocks, I’m tired and in pain. Today she was still on Thanksgiving vacation, so I decided to walk home a bit and summon Uber when I couldn’t go on.

I made it all the way home.

I’m in pain, my legs are still jelly, and I know that tomorrow I will barely be able to walk, but I fucking made it. Essentially, I overcame a physical limitation that tied me down in so many ways. I have SO much work to do, but this was one huge step forward.

It has been a very good three days, and I can only strive to make it continue. May everyone reading this (and then some) experience similar happiness.

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~ by Darren Endymion on November 30, 2015.

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