New Year and Positive Attitude

Okay, this is gonna be pretty geeky, somewhat pretentious, and probably that little spot between sarcasm and inspirational bullcrap that I seem to inhabit more often than I’d like. You’ve been warned.

My New Year’s Eve was spent alone, and I was totally fine with that. I invited a friend over and was turned down for carnitas — a decision I totally support and one I would have made myself. There was also mention of a family party or something, but I stopped listening after the mention of carnitas, feeling only indignation that I was not brought any (yes, I’m willfully ignoring the heaps of homemade tamales that I was brought. In the game of life, carnitas beat tamales like rock beats the shit out of scissors.)

What I did was finally pop in a game I have waited years to play, South Park: The Stick of Truth. I wanted it, I pre-ordered it, I waited through the interminable delays, I got a special code that gives you good (if beginner) outfits, and I waited. When I got the game, I played the hell out of it…and then stopped. I often do this with video games, but this is South Park, one of my favorite shows ever, and the game is actually good. My ex finished it and loved it. Well, I finished a new game I started and then blazed halfway through another. It was awesome. I also did several other things which I will discuss next time.

It was all this, combined with the horror of January at my work (today, for instance, was the busiest day of the year. The first Monday of the year always is), and the impending Mercury retrograde made me think. There are all these things, both positive and negative, and it’s really up to me to do with them what I will.

It goes back to that one Buddhist book/audio book/meditation I have often mentioned, Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg. In it she mentions the problems and difficulties in life being like salt. You cannot control how much salt you get in life. What you can control is the size of the body of water that it is going into. Is the salt a spoonful and your life a tea cup where the salt will utterly infiltrate your life and poison it, or is it a pond where this salt has little or no impact?

I think at this time of year, when the clock rolls on to something new, something fresh, that we are all ready to expand that body of water. We want to take on new things, look around, break from the self-imposed ruts we are in. This is why we make resolutions. We see this possibility within ourselves — one which is never lost, no matter how buried it may be — for hope. And from that hope can spring wonderful things. When we stop trying, when we stop HOPING, I think that’s when we stop growing, when that lake shrinks to the size of a tea cup…or a thimble.

The new year is where we challenge all that, where we crack the crust and try to step back and look at our lives for what they are and where we want them to go. We should do it without judgment (if that’s even remotely possible) and realize that maybe we are at the perfect place and all we can do is strive toward a better future.

And carnitas, damn it.

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~ by Darren Endymion on January 4, 2016.

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