Progress…Despite My Good Mood?

I have and continue to make tremendous progress with my writing. It’s amazing, but there’s something I have discovered, and I don’t know if it’s just me or if it’s normal.

I have been in a wonderful mood since Friday…and it has resulted in me not wanting to write a single word down. It’s the weirdest thing. This isn’t Paul Sheldon in Misery. I don’t write to escape a painful reality (well…not always, anyway). I’m not avoiding writing because I don’t think I can give it my all. I’m avoiding it because I’m in such a euphoric mood that I couldn’t focus, and what I’m writing requires focus on plot elements and foreshadowing, and such things that need thought processes, not just blind typing.

On Friday, I had it out with the hag I mentioned in my previous entry. She and my supervisor (bless him) have never even heard rumors of me being that…determined and calm and confrontational. The impromptu meeting ended with her silent, her protests fought off with finesse and fact, and her behavior laid out for all to see. She left, head down, angry, and upset. I practically skipped out, and the feeling lasted all weekend, and it made me not want to write. Also, a friend and I had plans for over a week to hang out and go see Star Wars, but he bailed on me, surely out doing something illicit and/or probably illegal. (I think I need to keep better company). I went to see the movie by myself and was so impressed that I couldn’t focus on the mundane things and worlds I had to spend time in.

The only reason I can think of is that I was supposed to be in another world, one where people are fighting for noble causes, where they are fighting against prejudice, where there are secret agendas which could harm life, limb, and sanity, and where people’s lives are altered. I wasn’t dealing with petty workplace drama or flaky friends whose motives for flaking are suspect. Also, to the Star Wars extent, I wasn’t fighting lightsaber duels or learning to use the Force (damned telekinesis still eludes me). The writing and plotting seemed to be so alien to my experiences, and I was feeling so good, that I think I just rode the wave of happiness to its end. I told myself that discipline dictates that I should have put myself in that writing place, but I did not. I rode that wave.

However, the work I have done in such a short time is gratifying, and it reminds me that I can write, that I can do so quickly, and reminds me that I wrote my last novel in three months. I have this ability within me. The discipline can be lacking, but when I do get into it, it’s right off to the finish line. I’m learning where my weaknesses are and how to counterbalance them.

Good moods do not need to be counterbalanced, however. I need to work through them. And so I will.

~ by Darren Endymion on January 11, 2016.

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