A Dream of Hope…and Battle

I had a dream earlier this week on a terrible night when I couldn’t sleep well. It was one of those ¾ sleeping and ¼ awake dreams. In it I was on a road to somewhere, somewhere very important. I remember feeling that it was like a quest almost, and that happiness lay waiting at the end. However, the road was clouded in fog that changed scary colors, it was lined with barren trees, and you could hear things moving off in the distance. It was dark and sinister, with trees that looked more like skeletal hands waiting to pierce you, grab you, and keep you from moving on in your life, to hold you and crush you and instill despair and pain.

Very dramatically, this figure came out of the fog looking like armored Sauron-lite and started attacking me. Instead of fighting back, I had a shield (a really, really strong one) and I just cowered behind it and let Sauron-lite attack me. Finally, some woman (and I’m certain that she represented one of my dear friends, Merrot, whom I have written an entry about earlier) sprinted past, handed me a sword, and told me to fight back. I did eventually and won.

I kept traveling, shaken and upset and scared, but elated that I fought my first battle, slaughtered someone in my way…with the help of a faster, stronger friend. Then an even bigger, badder person came out of the fog, which was now tinted with tendrils of red, like small snakes slithering through the air, turning what was only obscuring into something poisoned and vicious. This guy was huge. This was Sauron’s big brother, and he was taking magickal steroids. He was made up of many parts, like a great golem or zombie, sewn together with some binding thread that gave it a deceptive cohesiveness and didn’t betray a single bit of its formidable strength. I saw parts of my ex, my job, my own stubbornness, and all these forces that are keeping me back from what is on the other side of that path. A huge amount of steel rose up in me and I threw down my shield (or it turned into a sword in that inexplicable way dreams have). I fought him with two swords and had to fight for a really, really long time, but hacked him to bits. I think I had to fight one more time against some dog-creature, but that was easy.

And suddenly I was in a fantasy wonderland when I got to the end of the road. And guess who was waiting there for me, scuffed but unbroken from her own fog-covered path? Why, it was Merrot, the Sprinting, Sword-Lending Hag. We walked on and suddenly were in a clean, quiet apartment unpacking boxes in the “real” world. It was raining (which I LOVE and get very little of in Southern California) and I threw open my blinds and grinned at the clouds. I think we went out to go grocery shopping…and a whirlwind came along and lifted us up, spinning and giggling. We kept going higher and higher and we essentially flew around, happier than idiots at an amusement park. I remember that we were so incredibly happy. We found what we had been looking for. We were happy in a way that I’ve almost given up on, wondering if it’s a myth.

Waking up the next day, I was shocked at how vivid the dream was (and remains). I told Merrot about it and we sort of sighed together. The dream was clearly metaphorical in a way I don’t normally experience. I blame it on being in a light sleep and think my conscious mind was holding the strings. Still, it gave hope to us both, and spurred me on. I’m on that road, fighting against the barriers the world has put in my way and that I have placed there myself. But I won. And the nightmare was conquered.

Hopefully, real life will follow suit.

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~ by Darren Endymion on June 9, 2016.

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