Lament of Halloween

This will be the first Halloween in years when I am not surrounded by several friends who love the season as much as I do. My roommate and best friend doesn’t care one way or the other, and though our battle of courtesy has smoothed out considerably and I have been stuffing my eyes with all the movies I can get my hands onto, this holiday will be rather lonely.

It’s not just that I love Halloween and scary movies. It’s the camaraderie, the feeling of escape and closeness with my friends I left behind in California. We didn’t always get to see each other that much throughout the year, but during Halloween time, for all of September and October (and sometimes even part of August), each weekend would be spent together, parked on a couch, lights off, distractions away, a plethora of food in front of us, and just consume scary movie after scary movie. We would talk, laugh, cackle, get on each others’ nerves (really bad last year), and be together.

The week of Halloween, we would all gather at my friend’s house, carve pumpkins, have a pot luck, and put on a special movie in the background (usually Hocus Pocus, The Great Pumpkin, Halloween, or Trick ‘r Treat), and just have fun. Halloween itself was always taken off from work and we would always spend it together. Always.

This year, I have moved, and though I have met a few people, most of them very nice, I just don’t make friends all that easily, so I’ve not found a group with whom I can be a lazy horror-movie watching bum. My group of friends were breaking up anyway. Two of us are divorcing each other, and one is likely moving to another state. Another was growing disenchanted and was dropping out of our weekend festivities more and more often. Another infrequent participant went through a bitter break up and now has a new guy. I was just the first to move away, and I honestly am happier than I have been in more years than I can think of, and that has led to inertia.

But in the end, I will be spending this greatest of all holidays alone as the sole person who cares about Halloween that I know here. I will take this sad, fond remembrance and use it to build the life I want here. I will find new friends, and gods willing they will love horror movies as much as I do, but with my old friends, in that old and often horrible place, I had at least one time, one moment, one season of utter happiness.

I had something magical and special, and though I am infinitely happier where I currently am, I can’t help but lament for a time that will never be again in a place that is changing beyond recognition.

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~ by Darren Endymion on October 24, 2016.

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