The Imp of Deadlines

I had originally started to write an entry on the importance of having deadlines and sticking to them. When I wrote out a list of my tasks to do today, I abbreviated it “Imp. of Deadlines” and when I went to see what I had decided to write, I cackled at the implication.

Can you imagine?

What if there was a breed of an imp — I picture them to be a cross of Stripe from Gremlins and a hook-nosed goblin from The Hobbit mushed with Gollum — bred for the sole purpose of keeping us on task? Can you imagine the swag-bellied, scaled beast I’ve just described skittering out of the closet to stick a cattle prod into your thigh and hiss, “Get to work, lassssssssy!” It would then roll out a scroll of dates written in what I assume is blood or ranch dressing (why the latter, I don’t know. This image popped in my head unbidden and I have neither control over nor explanation for it). Your personal taskmaster would then climb up to your shoulder and bite, not nibble, at your ear until you started to do what it was you really should be doing.

Nap time? *chomp* Watching a movie rather than writing that synopsis? *bite, stab* Playing a video game instead of editing? *scuttle, hiss, incisor mark*

Ok course, the Imp of Deadlines could easily become overzealous. Decide to have a little impromptu snuggle+ with your significant other when you should be writing? Imagine getting frisky, then rolling over to find a scaly green gremlin-thing pie-face you with your manuscript. I think it would kill the libido…and the nerves. Or sleeping in on a weekend, only to wake up to an imp-brand to the forehead with the word “slacker” stamped onto your forehead with permanent marker. Snack time? Not today, loser. The Imp of Deadlines would be waiting inside the fridge, making you wish the only thing you had to deal with in there was bean salad that has gone over and possibly Zuul.

Deadlines are important, but maybe we need to put the Imps to better use and sick them against bigots and actually work on that thing…what’s it called?

Oh. “Willpower”.

Hateful word, hobbitses.

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~ by Darren Endymion on December 22, 2016.

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