Actual Skinny vs. Perceived Fat

Several thoughts went into what this week’s post would be about. First, I was watching American Dad and one of the obnoxiously gay characters said that he was straight-skinny, but gay-fat. Seriously, that’s a thing. Then I was thinking about all the physical therapy I have been going through and what it will mean for me when I am better and can be more active. Then I binge watched the new Netflix series Ultimate Beastmaster, which is not normally my thing, but I watched it with a fervor I usually reserve for less savory viewing materials. I also saw my doctor recently and got the results of all my blood work, and the results of my achy body and increased eating were evident.

What tied it all together were these people on Beastmaster. Some of them had undergone horrific accidents and traumatic physical losses, and now they are recovered and hanging by their fingertips on a magnetic wall or jumping from coil to coil in some obstacle course designed by the devil. Many of them were in their mid- or late-thirties, too, making any age excuses  I had seem brutally stupid.

As stupid as it all sounds, it was inspiring. I’m working on my body to make it functional again. If I get into that habit, why not keep doing it and actually have a body I want rather than one I would settle for? Why not make the food and diet choices that will last that help me on this road? I’ve mentioned before that it’s like the Universe looked down at me and said, “You know, he’s always bitching about wanting a better body and wanting to be healthier…why don’t we totally fuck with him and FORCE him to do it?”

I have to do all the things a “normal” person would do to get into really good shape, only I am doing them on a more mild scale so that I can walk and be without pain and be normal again. If I continue down that road, then not only will I recover, I will be gay skinny and fit to me as well as to the straight female friends who are always so nice to their gay comrades. It will have to be a habit I make, because this pain I am in, though it is getting better and better all the time, requires dedication and methodical work. So, if I’m making it a habit already…just keep up with it, right?

I’ve started the meal prepping, I’m studying nutrition more than I have before, I’m trying to eat better, I’m working out almost every day, and the almost will go away when my body adapts. I have to change the way I am doing things, because the way I’m living right now is totally unacceptable and I refuse to live the rest of my life this way. So, if these other people can recover from worse accidents and come out on the other side healthy, hot, confident, and happy, then I can too.

So, I’m going to.

~ by Darren Endymion on March 15, 2017.

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